Are you your own worst enemy? If you’re not experiencing the type of success you want, it is feasible that you’re experiencing some self-sabotaging behaviors. And if you are engaging in these types of behaviors it’s important to identify what you’re doing and to then turn it around.
Playing the Waiting Game
If you ever hear yourself say, “I’ll be do that when …” then stop it right now. You may have always done this and not realized it. “When I lose weight I’ll start exercising.” “When I finish this client’s work I’ll work on my website.” “When I do xx then I’ll do yy.” It all makes sense but it’s a waiting game that will never ever ceases. If you don’t take action now, nothing will happen and nothing will ever change so the next time you hear yourself making this excuse, stop and just do whatever it is you are putting off doing.
You Hang Around the Wrong People
Yes, even as an adult you can choose the wrong friends, if you often find yourself at odds with your friends’ values and goals in life, or find yourself apologizing for other people’s behavior, you’re just making excuses to avoid an uncomfortable conclusion. You’ve outgrown your friends and you need to move on without them.
Saying: “I’ll never ….”
I’ll never…. Simply fill in the blank about what you’re never say, do or feel. They say you should, “never say never”, and nothing could be further from the truth. The fact is, if you don’t believe you’ll become successful at your business, or lose that extra weight, you never will. You have to envision the success you want to achieve to make it happen. If all you see is negative, that’s all you’ll get, as a good friend of mine would say “life is a self-fulfilling prophecy” so if you say I’ll never … that is exactly what will happen, instead say I will.
I Don’t Want to Do “It” Alone
The fact is we are all ultimately alone, even in a crowded room. If you wait around for everyone to be on the same page as you, you’ll miss out on many great adventures. Whether it’s starting a business, trying a new restaurant, seeing a movie, you can choose to do it yourself without anyone else doing it with you, so do that and simply enjoy it on your own or with those that accompany you.
Thinking you’re not as “Smart” As….
The truth is, someone is always going to be smarter, prettier, or something more than you, from personal experience I know this. By saying that you’re not something, you will have a hard time breaking out of the box you’ve put yourself in. Forget about who you think you are, and do what it is that you want to do. You don’t have to be perfect at it, nothing is ever perfect and believe me, other people’s perception of you might be the complete opposite of what you start off thinking.
You Hide Your Feelings
Whenever someone asks you a question about your feelings, you simply say “I’m fine” and leave it at that, even when you are not fine. Did you know that you can get stuck in a certain mindset if you avoid it and don’t talk about it? That’s true whether it’s about work or something personal. You have to actually “name it” to “change it.”
My Client Needs Me
The fact is, everyone is replaceable and that means you are. If you find that you’re working with someone just because you think they need you, even when the relationship is not working for you, you’re really wasting your time and energy. A client who is not compatible with you, will drop you the moment they find someone they’re compatible with. Don’t do anyone any favors unless you really just want to, because customer loyalty doesn’t exist in such circumstances and don’t fool yourself that it does.
You Lack a Support System
Support can come in a variety of forms, from someone answering a phone to electronic support systems. If you set up a good system to help you stick to your schedule (whether it’s for work or fun) and get help when you need it, you will be a lot more successful than if you don’t do that. And a good friend that you can call when you are feeling down and needing a nudge to get things done, can help tremendously.
Finally, being self-aware enough to notice self-sabotaging behavior will go far in helping you to curb the habit. Give some thought to how you’re running your life so that you can kick self-sabotaging behavior to the curb and focus instead on the successes you are experiencing and will experience.